I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
