I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
