True but thats because hes a fetus.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
