she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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