I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
