So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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