come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
