ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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