mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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