I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
