We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
