You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
