I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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