i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
