Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
