He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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