I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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