That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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