so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
