hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I stole a fireplace last night.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
