If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
