who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
