I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I checked into jail on foursquare
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
