Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
