you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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