Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize
