The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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