I can't watch pbs sober anymore
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
