it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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