at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
