so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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