Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
