So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
