covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
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