THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
