Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
