hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
