Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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