I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
