i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
