I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
