I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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