I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
