You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
