How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
