Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
