4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
