I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
