I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
