I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
