she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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