Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize