She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
