why didn't you poke me back
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Randomize
